Sunday, April 29, 2012

to matrix it is

weekend

hmm...how is my girl doing? i wonder.
i returned to seremban, KL is soooo boring during weekends.
i've promised you to visit you at KMNS.
so today, i grant it.
i have no idea what to bring so i just drop by Mc Donald's and get something for you, something that cowboy town kuala pilah doesn't have. hihi. i ate up the fries
during the journey there, i know you surely don't want them. heheh

as we arrived, you asked me to wait at kafe A.
i searched for an unoccupied table,puts up the stuffs on the table.
waiting,waiting and waiting.
then you came.
looking so excited,with sweats and looked so cute :)
you just got back from the basketball court.
we sat there and ate the burgers up.
as always, i finished yours. hihi

then your friends came.
you introduced me to them and they to me.
i've also promised them to treat them the next time i come.
but that promise can't be granted because the next time, you're out of there.
after eating, i gave you that black shirt. the one i've promised. my shirt.

later on we moved to the car.
the hard part is coming.
we drove you to your hostel.
i can still feel that hard grip your hand gave to mine in the car.
i stared into your eyes, and you smiled :)

arrived at your block.
you opened the door, and we had a small talk outside the car.
we were reluctant to leave. i don't wanna leave. so did you.
you shook my hand, and gave me a little hug from the side.
i can feel how bad you wanted me to stay.
but i need to. yeah, i have to.

we said goodbye. you said you love me, so did i :)
i entered the car, as the car drives away from you, we shoved our hands.
i was so happy to see you :)

it was a great weekend :)

Saturday, April 14, 2012

You

the first time we met.

i can't recall the date. honestly speaking.
you came to KL, to hang out with your friends.
you've promised to inform me if you ever get here.
so that we could see each other, rather than interacting via facebook.

the day that you came, i was excited inside-out.
i know my fashion sense is not up to date as i wear what pleases me.
on that day, i was so nervous.
i remember the moment when i waited for you outside that rollerblade ring.
i wanted to get inside but for fifteen minutes, RM15 is not worth it.
i never saw your face before, i never know what you looked like.
your profile picture, never clear.
so as i wait there, i was imagining.

the moment you came,
i was stunned.
i'm not lying.
i was stunned.
remember when you offered me that coolblog?
i simply shook my head.
i wasn't refusing.
i was stunned.

all sorts of thing ran through my head,
all the way from sungei wang to timesquare.
that moment i realized something.
i melted.
it was so hard to explain.
i've really liked you since the first time we spoke to each other.
with that sexy voice. i was plus plus melted.

since that day,
i wish i could see you more often.
i wish i could speak to you a lot.
but me myself is not a man who's good in talking.
i simply bore people.
i was afraid if i bored you all the way when we were strolling there.
so at that time, i blurted out a lot of unnecessary speeches.
ridiculous speeches.
it's okay for me to spend my time with you just by looking into your eyes.
but you're an active speaker.
you didn't bore me.
no not at all.

it was a fantastic time.
i wish that could happen again.

believe me,
that was the time that i simply fell for you.
a person i have never seen.
but caught my eyes immediately as i saw you.

you were wearing something white.
as what i could recall.
a divine colour.
on a wonderful person.
nothing more can i say.
i was a fool for letting you get away.

love,
Sid.

xOxOxOx

eleventh month

Hello A. Thanks for waking me up for solat subuh. so touched. I miss to hear your voice. It's good if I can hear your voice everyday. It will cheer up myself throughout the day. seriously. Just drop by to say. 

Happy 11 months anniversary. I love youu. Always will. <3 



Tuesday, April 10, 2012

how true is this?




have i done something you wanted me to do? 

i miss you.

:')

"Satu hari nanti kau akan duduk dalam office sendiri,bila aku datang kau mesti kenal"

3 ke 4 tahun lepas

sekitar pukul 10.30 malam. terminal one seremban.

alamak,rokok dah habis. duit lak takdo. adik aku duduk kat sebelah. area menunggu bas kat terminal saat2 macam ni dah sunyi. tadi aku baru lepas lepak dengan kawan kat dalam mall terminal ni. sampai kemalam lak ai. dan entah macam mana terjumpa adik aku sekali. bajet nak balik sekali tapi bas ke taman aku dah ditiadakan. memang fucked up jap haa aku masa tu. tapi aku rilek. rilek. dan rilek. keluarkan fon dan hantar text kat abang aku.

"ngah, kau kat mana?" sebab aku tahu dia mesti tengah merayau time2 macam ni.

"ada seremban.apahal?"

"ambil aku dengan utih kat terminal. ayah suruh" ayah suruh baq ang. hahah. pandai je aku borak tipu.

"sepuluh minit"

aku dengan adik aku pun tunggu je la sampai lebam. bermula la satu detik aneh dalam hidup aku. kitorang duduk je termenung macam bangang sebab aku memang tak banyak cakap. adik aku pun sama. sepanjang aku termenung tu aku usha la keadaan sekeliling. tak ada yang menarik.

"ABANG,BOLEH BAGI SAYA DUIT SIKIT KA?SUDA DUA HARI SAYA TARA MAKAN"
tiba2 je datang seorang pengemis india dari kanan aku. aku dengan adik aku duduk bersebelahan pun tak perasan dari celah mana dia datang. mulut dia bau whiskey,kuat nak mampus. dia kata nak kerja susah, sebab nak jalan pun tak betul. dia tunjuk kaki dia. keting dia, dia ketuk2 macam ketuk pintu, dia bagi aku pegang. dan aku pegang. TULANG dan KULIT. sumpah aku kesian kat dia masa tu. dia cerita kat aku pasal hidup dia. dia borak2 rambang gila, aku yang tengah tak ada arah tuju pun duduk je dengar dia borak. dia cerita pasal family dia yang dah pecah la, macam mana dia boleh terbuang la, ada sebut satu benda rambang "saya dengan itu dato' seri anwar aaaa, ini macam" sambil menarik jari kelingking dengan jari kelingking. "kalau saya free, saya naik teksi itu aaa, pigi dia punya ruma juga. kuluar teksi, itu datin azizah kasi bayar saya punya teksi." apa motif dia pun aku tak tahu.

mendengar, suara hati pengemis india, di tempat awam.

aku chill je. dengar dia borak lagi. macam2 benda dia borak sampai la last sekali aku bagi dia RM2. tu je duit yang aku ada. "uncle makan aaa,jangan beli arak" bodoh lak ai, macam lepas lak beli whiskey guna dua kepala agong biru. dia kata dia pandai tilik nasib. memang aku tak percaya benda2 syirik macam ni, tapi aku layankan je dia. dia ambil tangan aku, amati tapak tangan aku. tangan kanan seingat aku.

"abang otak bagus. hati banyak baik."

lepas tu dia tindihkan jari manis aku bawah jari hantu, dan genggam.

"besar,banyak bagus" sambil tunjuk kat seluar aku. aku malas cerita panjang part ni. hahah

"Abang aaa, satu hari nanti duduk dalam sindiri punya office.... pakai cantik2..... itu jam aaa, saya datang ketuk abang punya pejabat, abang misti kenal sama saya. abang hati banyak baik, misti kaya satu hari nanti"

aku mampu tersenyum je. rasa kelakar pun ada. ada gak dalam kepala ni fikir "apa benda kau borak ni gilaaa...hahah" lepas tu dia kata dia nak pergi beli makanan. aku senyum je lagi. beberapa saat lepas tu aku toleh arah dia bla tadi. nobody's there. kosong. fikir2 balik, kaki dia sakit. jalan pun tak betul. takkan dia jadi usain bolt semata2 tak nak kasi aku nampak dia bla?

lesap.
lama lepas tu baru abang aku sampai bawa kitorang balik.
sampai harini aku teringat peristiwa tu. selalu terbayang2 aku duduk dalam office seorang, then pengemis masuk.

aku cerita kat ayah,
ayah kata, kadang2 Allah hantar malaikat uji kita macam tu. aku senyum sepanjang malam, sampai tertidur.

"Abang nanti paling kurang pun, jadi dato' juga"

Sunday, April 8, 2012

borak tengahari

1.30 tengahari

"fuhhhh" lembut perlahan asap surya dihembus ke arah monitor.
dia duduk rilek dengan kaki bersilang atas kerusi plastik ditemani bunyi cpu tua yang menderum2 bak MIVEC.
"alamak ai,dah satu setengah la sial.....pukul 3 karang ada sukantara.stamina nak kena banyak.aku lak tengah layan kopi dan nikotin."

suasana sunyi.

rumah setinggan beratap zink amat menyiksakan.dia berpeluh,sudahlah semalam tidur lambat nak mampus,kejap lagi kena all out. dia chill.

"banyak benda aku nak update kat blog ni, tapi mana ada masa .gila."

boraknya seorang diri.surya di tangan kiri semakin pendek.

"aku nak tulis cerita mula2 aku jumpa dia, aku nak tulis cerita2 pasal pengalaman hidup aku, aku nak orang dapat sesuatu dari blog aku." niatnya.

tapi

niat tinggal niat selagi tak dibuat.
janji pun tinggal janji kalau tak ditunai.

apa kau borak ni......

sambil memadamkan surya yang dah sampai puntung, dia menamatkan penulisan harini dalam

4

3

2

1

A-_-_-_-A